GAY Detection And Ranging system, known by its acronym…GAYDAR, uses psychogenic waves emitted by gay men to identify the range, direction, gayness degree and sluttyness of other gay men. No matter how straight a man acts or claims to be…the slightest secretion of gayness will be detected by the GAYDAR of other gay men.

Why do I know so much about it? Well…apparently I secrete a lot of gayness. I’m not sure if I move my hot ass too much when I walk or maybe other gay men know something I don’t know. What I do know, is that I seem to trip their GAYDAR alert a bit more often than it could have been explained by system errors.

Now…don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind if I get attention from gay men. I would actually feel flattered. I get flattered by any attention….it could be a dog humping my leg and I would blush and giggle like a little girl. Of course….A little MANLY girl !!

In future posts…I’ll post some of my more memorable gay encounters. I’m sure everyone has had some. If you haven’t….don’t be too proud….that would just mean that you are physically disgusting.

Anyways…All that explanation to explain that I have…again… activated the GAYDAR from some old gay man at my work. I cannot be too descriptive since a few people from my work read this…don’t want to forcefully pull the poor guy out of the closet.

Every time I encounter him…this guy stares and salivates excessively. He gives me this look as if I was a delicious hot fudge sundae…just missing some nuts on top (and of course with the cherry intact). Seriously, I feel revoltingly lick-able. And although I would normally feel flattered…I don’t this time. The guy is old and he borders the dwarf line. And even though…I am everything except shallow…this guy is as attractive as a cement block. So I think to myself…if I were gay…does this guy really think he is in my league? Seriously! That’s really depressing. I mean do I have a face of desperation, sexual deprivation or looks that cry “…please someone…anyone please!!!”? . I don’t think so, but this guy is making me feel like if I did.

I suppose it shouldn’t bother me. If it makes the guy happy to stare at me while visualizing himself licking all the hot fudge and eating the nuts…so be it. I just hope he doesn’t tie me up in some weird position when dreaming about me (and if he does…then…at least hopefully he will take it slow and leave the cherry for last).

Just as regular RADARS amplify the signal they receive to lock on targets…I assume, GAYDARS amplify as well, but sometimes do so with “wishful thinking” allowing for some false targets.

At the end…in life…it’s better to be a bleep on someone’s RADAR…than to be no bleep at all.